CHRISTIAN THE WORLD CUP GENIUS

I enjoyed that World Cup.

And that's despite the blatant corruption on display.
But if you can't beat them, join them.

So here are my super smart ideas for FIFA
to make even more

$$$

on the World Cup.

#1. Every team gets to choose one actor or celebrity as their assistant coach

Increased viewership via cynical but effective celebrity participation.

#2. Continue halftime show nonsense but extend halftime to 1 hr for extra long show and multiple premium sponsorship and advertising slots

Match outcome irrelevant. Large quantities of Fergie, Slash, and Mountain Dew.

#3. "Winter World Cup" in 2 years on its own 4 year cycle, like the Olympics.

Exclusively hosted in Qatar, United Arab Emirates, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, and/or Bahrain.

#4. FIFA President promoted to FIFA Emperor with corporate-sponsored FIFA Lord Protector established to drive additional revenue and absorb corruption allegations.

Recommend Jeff Bezos for visual and ethical synergy.

#5. FIFA declared a sovereign nation

Lessons from Vatican City. No pressure from Switzerland will ever get FIFA to pay taxes now.

#6. Football design should be plain white with only the logo of the FIFA Lord Protector's corporate brand.

Mutually beneficial co-branding opportunity.

#7. Fans can vote to cancel red cards or request missed VAR checks by scanning a QR code and paying a small fee to FIFA.

Audience participation = audience monetization.
If proceeds reach certain thresholds based on the voting nation's GDP the vote is passed and relayed to the on-pitch ref.

#8. Heads of state can cancel yellow and red cards after matches by paying a GDP-determined fee to the FIFA Emperor personally.

The newly sovereign FIFA nation get's a 10% cut.

#9. In Group Stage each team gets anywhere between 8-11 players on the pitch, determined prior to each match via an auction that coaches bid on.

Highest bidder gets 11 players on the pitch, reducing in bid order for other teams.
Auction is televised for extra entertainment & advertising revenue opportunities.

#10. In Knockout Stage/Finals, Messi plays every match and automatically plays for the nation with the highest GDP.

Lower GDP nations can purchase a "Messi Pass" to acquire him instead. Higher GDP nations can pay to block this, but as a result Messi must play goalkeeper for maximum entertainment/meme/ ad revenue opportunities.

Bonus Idea: FIFA hires Christian the World Cup Genius

I'm bursting with other revenue-generating ideas.
Oh glorious FIFA Emperor, you would prove your wise and natural right to govern the beautiful game by hiring this Superior Player of the Match to further your evil plans.